This blog was started in April…guess I’ll finish it now…soooooo much has happened I might as well put it out there…it’s long, but try to read it!
So I’m in Singapore. Ahh.
Last I wrote was in Rwanda with the rat/mouse situation. Megan came over and threw her in the yard for me. The big black birds had a field day with her on my roof. Yep, it was a her. I’ll get to that. So Megan came to my site and made some bomb Thai food while Bugsy and I supervised. He musta been out in the rain for hours because he was soooo stinky but I still let him hang. I enjoyed the last few days of my cast at my site reading Twilight and watching Prison Break. I planted some sunflowers Jeff had sent and was successful, but not without a little ridiculousness. The shovel that was once in my yard was nowhere to be found and of course the neighbors denied seeing it. I cut up a water bottle and tried to scoop the wet dirt with it which was hard in itself, plus my cast running vag to toe. My phone rang inside and as I scurried to get it I fell on cement and was stuck like a turtle, other leg bleeding and all. Thank god no one saw me stuck on my back for a minute. Now I know how Tonka feels.
The next day Peace Corps came to get me to go to Kigali and get my cast off and then me head to Asia. Megan was also going to swing the free ride so I told her to get there before Peace Corps so she could investigate my trunk because I was still hearing noises in there. The Peace Corps driver told me I was crazy and nothing was making any noises. I informed Alphons that I have bionic hearing, and that something was definitely in my trunk, with all my dishes and cleaning supplies. My Ugandan neighbors came over, also didn’t hear anything and proceeded to prove me wrong by taking everything out of my trunk. Oh cool. Babies. THREE. Ugh. They had been squeaking since I accidentally murdered their mommy and were still struggling to stay alive! I couldn’t believe it. I’m not sure where they got put but finally I was off to Kigali.
I got my cast off the day before my flight and wow. It was weeeeeird. My leg was just deflated and white and hurt so badly to walk on. I went and took the longest shower ever and shaved and let hot water run on me. I cant say it was a waste of water after I hadn’t really bathed in over a month. The next morning the new PCMO tried to have me come in even though I was packing, bathing (again) and eating before. I would have never made it to Peace Corps and to the airport in time and said I couldn’t go, so I got written up. Moving on.
My trip to Singapore was amazing. I had to fly to Nairobi first which was only an hour or so but my flight was full of muzungu NGO workers and rich people traveling. I was annoyed at all the conversations I overheard about all the work they were doing just because a lot of it is just contributing money. Sure, that’s wonderful, but it’s not sustainable and seeing so much firsthand I know there needs to be more than just money given. Anyway. I had a 7 hour layover in Kenya which was sure to be a nightmare until I got free wireless!!! You know how at almost every airport there are duty free stores so everyone loads up on booze and cigarettes? Well, all the stores at this airport had ‘duty free’ in their name so I guessed that as the airport password and sure enough. I was sooo pumped. I sat by a bathroom that had an outlet and imed for hours and watched the Tiger Woods press conferences and the Lady Gaga videos I kept hearing about. I had coffee with a random man from Lesotho and people watched like no other. When I landed in Bangkok it was heaven…like, indescribable. It was so shiny and pristine almost and there were Asians! And Muzungus! The sight of fast food was of course awesome also. There was Starbucks, Mcdonalds, Dairy Queen, Burger King and all these random Thai food places. I was so overwhelmed I sat down and skyped Jeff telling him I didn’t even know what to eat! I also called Rwanda to brag about all my options. I settled on Dairy Queen, the cheapest choice with the most appealing pictures. Chili cheese dog and a blizzard? I think so. That layover was 4 hours or so also which, sucked, but I was almost there!
As I said before, Singapore was just amazing. John lives in a really nice building, with a ridiculous pool in a great location. He is just 2 blocks from the major shopping road lined with stores like Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Burberry etc. Also, other random stores and TONS of food places, even Coffee Bean and CPK! I lived it up of course and was spoiled rotten by my stepdad. I had a mani/pedi, massages, and free reign of purchases at the bookstore. I laid in the pool most days and read. Even though I was in an amazing place, it was sill lonely as John works everyday. I was used to it, and we enjoyed dinners and dvds together at night.
My vacation went by quickly and after I returned to Rwanda I was still having a hard time…with my leg, my school, the culture…it was a let down when our PCMO left, and then the country director emailed saying he was leaving also. I replied with my decision to go home. Jeff knew I had been having a hard time, and the week following was very awkward between us. He was obviously disappointed, and that was very hard for me as he had been my rock during the previous 7 months. I was scared to go home…and excited, and confused, but I did…(obvi) It is still one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made and I hate it…I miss it so much, but know it was right at the time. I got home the first Sunday night in May and started back to work on Tuesday. Wednesday morning Jeff flashed me and decided to break up with me. Cinco de mayo. My grandpa’s birthday. The end of 2 years together. Devastating. Shocking. Hurtful. Just shitty. The timing couldn’t have been worse…but is there really ever a good time? I of course assumed another person was involved or soon to be, and duh, I was right. Thank you Peace Corps Albania and certain biatch. Guess I always thought Jeff was different.
So coming home has been hard. Roller coaster of emotions daily. Jeff and I are still friends. We still talk. Still email. Argue more now. Its just hard to share something with someone for 2 years including plans for the future, and have it taken at a time when I was already down. Maybe it seemed harder that i had to return to El Segundo. I start waiting tables and people say "oh you quit? how's jeff?" I want to cry, but I save it for later. I have had drama with friends, been uninvited to a wedding, and felt alone more times than not. But coming home has brought me happy times also…I have made new friends, new plans for the future, I am taking trips and have learned a lot about myself and others. I am living for myself and no one else, and am excited for what’s to come. Plus, I’m home with Tonka, and she’ll never break my heart.
Going to try and keep blogging about life…well see if I actually do. One year ago tonight I was in Philadelphia on the phone with Jeff crying about leaving…tonight I am sad I’m not there. Grass is always greener on the other side…
Best Made - Denim Shirt
2 years ago